I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
