is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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