Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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