A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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