ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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