Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
