i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
