Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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