Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
