i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
