She's JV to your varsity
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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