He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
