Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
