are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
