i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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