Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
