Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
