it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
