I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
