come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
