I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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