My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
