like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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