She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
