i already hear my dad disowning me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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