meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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