i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
