I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
