i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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