Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..

(1-650): View more from California

You've kissed worse.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame

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(760): View more from California

my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...

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(843): View more from South Carolina

the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place

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(574): View more from Indiana

there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.

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(281): View more from Texas

Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card

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(505): View more from New Mexico

All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You were feeding it to the bartender last night

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