It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
