I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
