i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
