Do you still have your period?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
