thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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