walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
