She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
