Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
