Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
