So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i out mim tonsoeep
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
