Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
