question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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