he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
