she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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