I'm sorry my penis didn't work
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
