ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
