I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
