i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
