did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Too much gin, very little bucket
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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