So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
