I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
