I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
